Greetings Earthlings,
You are about to read a fanfiction influenced by the Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic video game (available on Microsoft's Xbox and highly-recommended), an epic space opera following the exploits of the former Dark Lord of the Sith, Revan, who has had his/her memory wiped by the Jedi Council in a bid to discover the location of the Rakatan super-factory, the 'Star Forge'. For details concerning the events of Knights of the Old Republic, which is encompassed by the overarching Jedi Civil War, please see my relevant links.
Note: The characters and place names herein are the property of LucasArts, Inc. and Bioware Corp., under the copyright act, and are used here without permission. Please don't sue me.
Chapter 1: Awakening.
Flaming-hot plasma fire comes forth from the firmament in a torrent of violent fury, burning the landscape with the indelible mark of the Sith, as if it represented an expression of their inviolable will. The skyscrapers, once the haughty embellishments of a proud and wealthy people, are brought unto ruin as the fires of war cleanse this world of all it's old ties. Taris was it's name; a world enveloped by a sprawling city that once swamped the verdant surface of the planet below.
Characterised by ignorance and prejudice, Taris was a world divided between rich and poor, human and non-human, where justice came swift and harsh for those who would seek to disobey the laws of the Upper City. The poor and criminal classes called the Lower City home, people who could not afford to abode in the Upper City, and their territory was rife with villainy and tyranny. Swoop gangs and beggars and murderers all shared this common den of misery, relishing their freedom beyond the gaze of the Upper City and its lawmakers.
But below them lay a greater nadir - the Undercity, a subterranean world sheltered by shadow and hidden by old deceit, wherein the refuse of the Upper City would collect, peopled by exiles called Outcasts banished from the Upper City for their crimes. Here, despair and desperation defined existence, a dank and festering hole awash with cloying mist and stench that forbade the intrinsic feeling of hope, reducing the proud and noble to hunched heaps of human suffering. For centuries the Undercity went on like this, and there seemed to be no hope for those cast-down into the deep dark of Taris - until the Liberator would arrive from under destiny's hand, cleaving through sorrow as hope severs hopelessness.
But with the coming of the Liberator, the Outcasts - and, indeed, all Taris - would incur an all too-high debt. The sweeping tides of history have forever obscured the Liberator in both physical form and gender, though the Outcasts remember that the Liberator wore the mantles of light and dark. This was because the Outcasts' "Liberator" had once bore a different title, that of Darth Revan - the former Dark Lord of the Sith - until his/her capture by the Jedi Council, who proceeded to divest him/her of his/her old role and identity.
They hadn't known it at the time, but the Outcasts were not before a Liberator, but the dethroned former Dark Lord, reprogrammed to believe she/he is a soldier in the employ of the Republic tasked with the protection of a young Jedi commandant. Regardless, the Outcasts now believed their salvation had come, and through the actions of this "Liberator", they would undertake a journey in search of the mythical 'Promised Land' foretold in legends to be a paradise situated below Taris' Capital.
To greet the Liberator upon his/her arrival was a young woman named Shaleena. Instantly, she became enraptured by this person from the "Upworld", captivated by his/her majesty like a sailor aroused by the siren's sweet song. Though her enthusiasm was soon dampened when she realised she could not provide suitable answers to the strange questions the Liberator had posed, instead referring him/her to the village leader, Gendar. From the moment she and the Liberator had met, Shaleena felt something stir within her, as if her very spirit had trembled. The feeling persisted for some time, but Shaleena was at a loss as to the cause of her sudden uneasiness.
By this time, the Liberator had gathered all the pertinent information he/she was in search of, and travelled beyond the village gate into the very maw of the Undercity itself - the sewers - in pursuit of an unknown quarry. Shaleena could hardly contain her desire to know more of this mysterious Upworlder, and she inquired with Gendar as to the Liberator's reasons for delving into the Undercity.
"Gendar? Did the Upworlders learn anything more?", asked Shaleena, a slight quiver present in her voice.
"They did. Apparently they are in search of crashed escape pods. I told them to explore beyond the village if they wished to learn more firsthand", replied Gendar.
"Oh. I was hoping to get another chance to speak to them. Did they talk with Rukil? I'm hoping not", said Shaleena, trying in vain to suppress the latter portion of her response.
"I wouldn't know, Shaleena. Perhaps you should ask Rukil if the Upworlders paid him any mind", Gendar responded, sounding almost coy.
Shaleena, heeding Gendar's advice, decides to visit Rukil - a wizened and elderly man who represents the village's resident storyteller - to answer her queries. Rukil, after talking at length on the "Promised Land" and the "Coming of the Liberator", finally manages to answer at least a portion of Shaleena's questions. He says the Liberator, prophesied in ancient Outcast legends, had come in the form of this Upworlder to deliver them from their wretched existence below Taris' Capital. Shaleena, suppressing her innate eagerness, dismissed Rukil's beliefs as wild imaginings, that the Undercity would be their home for time immemorial.
Rukil insisted the Upworlder was this destined Liberator, even becoming enraged at Shaleena's attempts to belittle his ancestors' long-held hopes, imploring her that she not idle in misery and instead reach out to the comforts of promise. She refused to listen to his ramblings any longer, telling him that he brought shame upon all the Outcasts with his childish stories and tales of false hope, that he should refrain from further embarrassing the village by assailing Upworlders with his fabrications.
Furious, Shaleena stormed off toward the village gate, pushing Trewin the Gate Guard aside and raising the grate of steel that provided the village's only real security, and walked into the bleak black of the Undercity. She was angry, very angry, but deep within her Rukil's stories did resonate; she wanted the Liberator to come and save her and her people from their sorrows, but if it was nothing more than fairy tales what was the point in believing?
She walked alone for hours, attempting to piece herself back together all the while, tears flowing like the rivers of Old Taris. Suddenly, the sound of disturbed debris rang in her ears, and she felt the eyes of unseen predators assessing her every move; she spun around to see a pack of ravenous rakghouls to her rear, mouths foaming with disease and insatiable hunger. She struggles to voice a scream as the pack of mutants advance on her position, their claws outstretched and ready to tear at her flesh - an intense feeling of dread begins to overwhelm her and cowers in fear as certain death extends its grasp.
But the feeling of dread shifts within her, transforming in to that same tremble she had felt when she encountered the Upworlder, and suddenly a burst of energy pulses through her. It starts out as a mere ripple, then morphs in to a current of pure energy, sending the rakghouls flying through the air and driving them into the mottled earth. She stands up from her initial prone position in a state of disbelief - she had survived. About her are the mangled corpses of her rakghoul assailants, their jaws twisted and broken by the impact of their fall, their arms contorted and bent, their skulls oozing a sickeningly yellowed fluid.
Retuning to her village, bruised but otherwise unharmed, she speaks to Rukil once more and apologises for her earlier outburst; with her mind expanded, Shaleena was now ready to believe. Doubtless, her encounter with the Upworlder had awoken a strange presence within her, once a dormant echo given full voice by the proximity between she and the Upworlder. She didn't know what it meant, but from that point on, Shaleena knew the person she met was far from an ordinary Upworlder.
During the following days, Shaleena made great strides in understanding her new-found abilities, even managing a small measure of control over them; she levitated solid duracrete and twisted steel with her mind, she even led small groups of Outcasts in search of food whilst fending off rakghoul hordes. She was awakened.
Chapter 2: Liberation.
After a week's worth of meditation and practice, Shaleena had become quite adept at using her special talents, the Outcasts now relying on her during risky excursions into the dangerous depths of the Undercity. But even Shaleena and her gifts would not ease the chaos that would soon come to transform all Taris forevermore.
Shaleena had been busy escorting Outcasts through the sewers when it started, dealing to the Gamorrean slavers who made that place their home; deep rumbling echoed through Upper and Lower Taris, walls of hard stone began to crack and heave as the sounds grew louder. Soon, whole sections of wall gave way, surrounding Shaleena and her cortege with smoking piles of rubble; she did her best to deflect the chunks of rock that came within crushing distance of herself and her party, but Shaleena soon realised it was more prudent to seek cover.
Ducking and diving as they made their way through the sewers' more confined tunnels, Shaleena and company escaped the rapidly crumbling southern sewage works only to find they had jumped the frying pan and arrived in a blazing bonfire. Before Shaleena and her troop stood an eight-foot-tall abomination - the rancor monster - a towering behemoth with powerful jaws lined with rows of dagger-sharp teeth, four-fingered hands each bearing a claw sizable enough to dwarf even the longest katana.
Steeling herself for an inevitable confrontation, Shaleena centres her mind and hones the power within her, sharpening her senses to a razor's edge; her body pulsing with intense energy, Shaleena begins telekinetically throwing large hunks of stone at the rancor, biffing it on the snout and causing it to recoil.
"Run!", she screams hoarsely.
Immediately, the Outcasts accompanying her scatter and race off for the opposite end of the large hallway, piling up under a narrow doorway, their eyes widened with horror as they watch the lone Shaleena confront the rancor beast. Taunting it, Shaleena leads the rancor away from her entourage, luring it toward a torn pipe-main gushing superheated steam; her ploy works - the rancor rears it's head preparing to unleash a guttural roar, lifting it directly into the path of the billowing steam. Screeching and clawing, it's eyes completely dissolved by the steam, the rancor begins swiping it's claws at the empty air around it - Shaleena decides to flee in the opposite direction, reuniting with her fellow Outcasts awaiting her.
Suddenly, the Outcasts erupt into thunderous cheers and applause, praising Shaleena for her efforts and thanking her profusely for saving their lives. She tried for the usual lines like, "It was nothing", and, "I had no choice", but the approvals and praise kept coming her way; would the Liberator also receive such adulation, was this how he feeling of hope truly felt. Shaleena decided it was best, and easiest, to accept it for what it was rather than disputing it; if her people needed a hero and none would present themselves, she resolved to do so in their stead.
Greater concern, however, now lay with the cause for the sewer's collapse - had there been an earthquake? Impossible, Taris' planetary geology does not consist of tectonic plates or individual landmasses. It seemed likely that something very sinister had occurred in the Upworld, though Shaleena hesitated to dare ponder on what that occurrence might be.
By now, the entire Outcast settlement had mobilised and moved on to the lower sewers in search of the Promised Land, scouring the lowest reaches of the Capital for any clue that might unravel the greater riddle; that search was now placed in great peril. When news reached Shaleena of the happenings above, of the faction known as the 'Sith', that very same tremble echoed through her spirit once more.
Taris had been completely decimated; there was no more Upper City, no more Lower City, and certainly no more Undercity - it was as if all the divides of Taris had finally mended after all these centuries - no more rich, poor, or Outcast. Was this what the legends had meant, the secret message beneath the hopes and promises, that liberation was always about Taris' reunification? Shaleena felt the comforting feeling of hope once again, knowing that the Liberator had found what he/she had quested for, that he/she was now off Taris and able to pursue his/her great destiny.
With her cortege following close behind, Shaleena emerged from the wreckage of the sewers only to arrive at the wasteland of even greater wreckage - all around were toppled towers and mangled steel, pools of blood flowing through a trash-strewn waterway, endless visions of rubble stretching out toward the horizon.
The Capital was gone, erased, the memory of an untroubled mind. At last, the Outcasts were truly free, liberated from the misery that so consumed them, amid now the Upworlders who had formerly oppressed them; without the layers of metal and wire to separate them, at last the peoples of Taris would be whole again.
Chapter 3: Survivors.
Two teams of survivors - one side representing the remaining Outcasts to survive the Sith attack and the other representing survivors from the Upworld - assembled amidst the vast landscapes left unmarred by the hideous shadow of the Capital. To look upon the land thereafter it appeared as though the land had been stripped, it's pastoral beauty - once long hidden - now revealed for all citizens of Taris to stand before in testament to.
The faces of those who gaped at it in open-mouthed amazement still stains Shaleena's mind today; each expression burned permanently into her memory. No one, for a great many centuries, had ever witnessed the true surface of Taris - beneath the charred and warped metal, a heart could be seen where you couldn't espy one before, a pulsating green light emanating from an abyss of hollow, inky darkness.
Shaleena, again, sensed her spirit tremble and quaver as she stared deep into the green glow, which now throbbed rhythmically with each oscillation produced by the light. But her attentions soon became fixed on a far more physical feeling; a large shard of steel now jutted forth from her abdomen, encircled by a fine ringlet of blood. She was injured - badly.
She fell to her knees, the ringlet transforming into a funnel of spurting crimson, the colour in her face emptying on the ground all around her; she felt as though she were dying. Just then, a shadowed figure emerges from the crowd of onlookers, strolling toward her with all haste. He stoops down beside her, telling her that his name is Zelka Forn, a medical doctor from the former Upper City. He lifts her off of the earth and cradles her in his arms, giving her a syringe-full of medicine saved over from before the Sith's bombardment.
Her pain eases, if only a little, and she loses consciousness momentarily.
A half-hour later, she is roused to find her wound sutured and bandaged, the blood completely cauterised - Zelka stood close beside her in case she went into shock, flanked by a droid and one other man. Slightly delirious, Shaleena lifts her head just long enough to get a mental read-out of where she is; spying a makeshift table - which she is lying on - and a ramshackle desk stacked with paper, she realises that she is in some kind of clinic.
Shaleena had never been to a clinic before - being an Outcast meant you had no access to medical treatment - she had remembered the stories told to her by Rukil of places where people could go to treat diseases and such. Instantly, the thought of clinics and stories emptied from her mind, replaced by thoughts on Gendar and Rukil and the other Outcasts she left behind just one short week ago.
Were they dead?
Beside her a row of similar-looking makeshift tables like Shaleena's stood arrayed, each supporting a lifeless corpse - some were without heads or were crushed beyond recognition - though one still bore an intact face, and it was a face she knew well. It was Gendar - or rather his body - impaled by several metal pikes. With instant reaction, Shaleena shielded her eyes from the pain, but her mind yet retained the visage no matter how hard her eyes had wanted to forget, and she began to sob uncontrollably.
"A friend of yours, I take it? I'm very sorry", chimed Zelka, mournfully.
"Yes. Yes, he was a very dear friend. I can't believe he's gone", Shaleena said, still attempting to regain her composure.
"I don't think anyone can believe anything at this point. It's just too horrible to fathom", replied Zelka, lowering his line of sight in dismay.
"One word constantly reverberates through my mind even through all this carnage. 'Sith'. The Sith did this", says Shaleena, steeling her will with every word, before going on to say, "And they will pay dearly for it".
"You mean to challenge the Sith? You're lucky to have survived the bombardment, don't jeopardise that for vengeance's sake", retorts Zelka.
"This isn't for revenge. This is something I have to do", replies Shaleena while lifting herself off the table, embracing the pain as a means of motivating herself for the fight ahead.
"Wait! Please, at least rest awhile longer until you can regain a portion of your strength", says Zelka.
Shaleena ignores his requests and leaves, determined to take the fight to the heart of the Sith menace. Unfortunately for her, the Sith are already preparing to send an emissary to Taris' surface, a skilled Force-user by the name of Darth Somnus. Cloaked in a crimson/black cape and adorned with a silver face mask, Darth Somnus is Apprentice to the Dark Lord, Malak, former Apprentice to Darth Revan - the Liberator - Dark Lord of the Sith before him.
Arriving on Taris' surface in a small G-Wing fighter, Darth Somnus and an accompanying Dark Jedi duo - twin Jedi's named Carius and Marius - begin scouring the planet for signs of the Jedi commandant who had eluded Malak and his Sith in the space battle above.
Shaleena, absorbed in her dark thoughts, goes in search of Rukil, traversing the desolate wastes of the Capital; her feelings become ever more violent as she witnesses all the destruction wrought by the Sith, like a snowball gathers up ever more snow as it descends down a slope. After hiking through miles of shattered terrain, she comes across the remnants of her old village.
Pushing past sheets of distorted metal, Shaleena investigates the Outcasts' former hell, this time seeing it in a very different light. She now started to miss her old way of life, the security she had, the familial bonds she developed with her fellow Outcasts, the assurance she felt in their leader, Gendar; all those things had vanished, replaced by empty hopes and promises.
She had gone in search of this Promised Land, but had found only yet more misery; what was the point of it all, of sacrificing all those old assurances? Shaleena feels the tugging of malignant despair around her heart. But just as her hopes giveway to her fears, a small voice is carried by the wind to her ears, like a distant cry that is voiced but does expect to hear a voice in return.
Beneath several plates of heavy steel, Rukil stirs, moaning and groaning with immense pain. Shaleena is overjoyed to discover that old "Rukil Wrinkle-Skin" is, indeed, alive. Using her special gift, Shaleena lifts away the steel debris cocooning Rukil's body, his face alight with joy to see Shaleena had survived the bombardment. Blinking back tears, Rukil embraces Shaleena, shouting all the while about the Promised Land's coming - it seemed that his recent near-death experience had done little to change Rukil's perceptions on reality.
Shaleena, overcome with emotion, begins sobbing and explaining that she and four others had gone in search of the Promised Land and found nothing, that they spent days within the sewers only to find Gamorreans and rancors, but nothing else. But Rukil stops her, imploring her to see with her eyes and not her heart, the true Promised Land; the people working together to help each other, both Upworlder and Outcast, the destruction of the corruptive Capital, the liberation of the surface-ward Taris.
Shaleena stood gawk-eyed, staring into Rukil's empassioned image, his eyes ablaze with the truth before him, and, at last, she began to understand all that he had meant; though it looked bad now, someday the people of Taris could rebuild, forging the future anew as a unified world once again.
Chapter 4: Revelations.
Darth Somnus assayed the damage he and his Sith compatriots made possible; he hadn't a figure on the total people annihilated in the attack, but assumed the number would exceed the millions. He cracked a wry smile at the thought. He could feel the wounds in the Force ache with his very presence, the screams of the departed chorusing around him in a sort of macabre symphony.
Marching along a bombed-out freeway, Somnus spies the rallied survivors seeking shelter amongst the wreckage. He hastens toward them, eager to probe them for information on the whereabouts of the Jedi commandant working with the Republic. He stands a head's breadth above them, his silver half-mask concealing the right side of his face, lightsaber in hand; they try to look away from him, but are moved by anger to act against him.
A foolish mistake.
Taking up his lightsaber, Somnus strikes them down dead, their bodies still writhing with nervous twitches after they fall; Carius and Marius draw their own lightsabers and stand beside their Master, hateful expressions colouring their faces with disdain.
"Where is Bastila?", says Somnus, sounding aloof and insular.
"There's no 'Bastila' here", responds the first Tarisian, paralyzed by fear and unable to say anything more.
"She could not have escaped this worthless world's destruction in time. Do not toy with me, or you'll find I can be a most dangerous plaything", replies Somnus, curtly.
"We have no wish to meddle with the affairs of the Sith. Please, just let us go", says another surviving Tarisian.
"Your lives are meaningless to me! You will go nowhere until you have given me the answers I seek", shouts Somnus, his eyes becoming pools of shadow.
Meanwhile, Shaleena and Rukil had begun their trek across the 'Sun Rimmer', the first of many interconnecting bridges that once formed Taris' central transit system before the Great Famine some four hundred years ago. Many survivors also made the same journey, with herds of people amassing all along its span, seeking passage across the expanse of ocean below them.
But Shaleena and Rukil journeyed in pursuit of the true heart of Taris, the green landscapes encased by the Capital for century upon century, and the fertile promise of a reborn Taris. Others followed them, each determined to witness Taris' true beauty, eager to restart their lives in this paradise of legend; Upworlders and Outcasts marched together across the Sun Rimmer bridge, an almost poetic scene befitting an old Outcast fable.
As they passed beyond the Sun Rimmer, the final bridge loomed large before them; christened the 'Stellar Highroad', the last of these bridges now stands as an ancient remnant of Taris before the Great Famine - now it is home to rakghouls, perhaps a nest of rakghouls. Shaleena begins to worry immensely as she and Rukil approach the Highroad; the tales she's heard suggest a rakghoul nest may lay deep within the Highroad, perhaps the largest nest in all Lower Taris.
But having already travelled so far, turning back didn't seem an attractive option, either. Rukil, sensing Shaleena's apprehension, grabs her hand and looks into her eyes, seemingly giving off his own resolve to strengthen her's. Together, they begin the long and arduous journey through the Highroad, braving the dangers within alone. Very few Outcasts had decided to follow them at this point, as the risk was too great, but Shaleena never looked down on those ho decided to quit the quest. The Highroad was a dangerous place, perhaps the most perilous on all Taris, and it would prove this yet...
As they descended deeper into the Highroad's murky interior, Shaleena and Rukil came across a lone rakghoul feasting on the corpse of a fallen Outcast, it's razor-sharp teethe coated in coagulated blood. It turned and snarled at these invaders, crying a shrill voice that penetrated the darkness and echoed throughout all the Highroad. Soon, Shaleena and Rukil were surrounded by twenty or thirty rakghouls, all communicating amongst each other using a discordant dialect the likes of which would strip paint off walls.
Drawn by her gift, Shaleena glanced up to see a huge sac, pus-like in colour and oozing a viscous liquid that seemed ready to drop on top of her; Rukil noticed it next, his facial expression betraying the fear held deep inside his heart. Out from the sac came a large, hirsute creature resembling a rakghoul, only being of much greater proportions, and - judging by the rather, uh, obvious anatomy - female.
"That's like no rakghoul I've ever seen", remarks Rukil, sounding slightly intrigued by this creature.
"This isn't exactly the time for biology, Rukil", replies Shaleena, her brow becoming furrowed as she displays her contemp.
"Right. You're right, of course. We should make ourselves scarce", says Rukil, obviously not perturbed by Shaleena's earlier remark.
Evading the rakghoul mother's clutches, Shaleena and Rukil flee through the darkened passages that comprise the Highroad, snipping rakghouls close behind. Fluctuations of energy erupt from Shaleena's fingertips, spraying the rakghoul pursuers with waves of eletricity. Rukil, armed only with a small blaster pistol, fires a few rounds at two rakghoul stragglers. popping their heads open like ripe melons.
With most of the rakghouls dissuaged, Shaleena and Rukil continue their escape from the Highroad; unfortunately, the rakghoul mother has yet to give up the hunt. Bashing through surrounding walls, the Mother makes her presence known, using her claws to tag Rukil in the back. Shaleena, with help from her powerful gift, collapses the nearby archway in a bid to stop the Mother getting any closer.
Trapped, the Mother retreats, circling a bend in search of another avenue toward her prey, leaving Shaleena and Rukil a window of opportunity to escape her grasp. Shaleena spies a far light at the end of a long and dank corridor, which she suspects leads to the Highroad exterior; but before she can report this to Rukil, the Mother bursts through the wall to the right. With her last ounce of strength, Shaleena decides to cause a cave-in, hoping to crush the Mother in the process; racing through the last section of tunnelway, Shaleena carries out her plan.
With a thunderous crash, the antiquated tunnel collapses and crushes the rakghoul mother, as evinced by a rather sickening splat heard rearward; rivulets of greenish blood come coasting along the hard, white stone of the Highroad exterior. Though Shaleena is ecstatic, Rukil is in a very bad way - bleeding profusely, it doesn't appear he'll survive his injury.
"Rukil! No, we were so close! You can't die yet, not when the Promised Land is this close", says Shaleena.
"You still don't get it, do you? This, all this, is what was promised by my father and grandfather. What you see around you is the Promised Land", ethuses Rukil.
"I know, I know. But the planet core - the heart of Taris - that's what you most wanted to see", cries Shaleena, tears welling in her eyes.
"Then you'll just have to go see it for yourself. I'll see the surface world through your eyes. But you must go on, you cannot stop for me. You must leave me behind", replies Rukil, his face becoming a perfect reflection of Shaleena's.
At this moment, Rukil's fragile grip on life finally gives way, and Shaleena is left to pursue Taris' surface on her own. Rising to her feet, she looks toward the gaping mass of broken road that opens before her, an abyss that will ultimately lead her to the planet's core. But before she can begin the journey deep beneath Taris' wastelands, she will have to contend with Somnus, who is awaiting survivors at the Highroad's end.
Carrying what little supplies are left, Shaleena continues down the exterior of the Highroad, taking in the air of the world now that no Capital can pollute it. At the far end of the track, Somnus and his Dark Jedi question Tarisian survivors on the whereabouts of the Jedi commandant.
"You there!", shout Somnus, his lightsaber at his side as he stands amidst a pile of decapitated corpses.
"Me? What would you want with me?", replies Shaleena, sounding a touch confused.
"I'll tell you what I want with you, I want... Wait, I can sense the Force is working through you. A Force Adept, here, of all places. Ha", replies Somnus, in an strangely introspective fashion.
"Force Adept. I don't know what you're talking about. I'm just a survivor, nothing special", says Shaleena.
"Don't be coy with me, girl. You wield the Force, you are no survivor. You are the commandant", shrieks Somnus.
At that moment, Carius and Marius deactivate the stealth field generators and attack Shaleena, lightsabers slicing through the air. Shaleena manages to conjure a ball comprised of pure Force energy, using it to throw Marius to the ground. She lunges for his lightsaber, cartwheeling out of harm's way; in a deftly executed move, she spirals through the air, lightsaber-in-hand, and eviscerates Carius in one fell swoop.
"You've killed my brother, you dog", screams Marius, still without a lightsaber.
A sudden surge of Force-based energy flows from his hands, creating a maelstrom of lightning that ensnares Shaleena like a taloned hand. Powerless in this state, she drops her lightsaber, and is blasted with concurrent volts of pure electricity. Marius discontinues his Force Lightning, allowing Shaleena to fall to the ground in a heap. Marius readies his lightsaber, standing over Shaleena as an executioner stands over the condemned; raising his arm, Marius prepares to end Shaleena's life.
"Stop! This one's mine", declares Somnus, as if shouting commandments from the heavens.
Now unconscious, Shaleena wallows in her mind, abandoned to her thoughts and unknowing of the fate her corporeal fate prepares to meet. She hears Rukil, Gendar, Zelka and the Outcasts calling out to her, begging her to open her eyes and see truth for what it is. Slowly, Shaleena manages to rouse herself from her catatonia, and with all her suppressed rage, with all her darkest feelings and unspoken curses, she allows the Force to stream through her physical shell, trusting in this Force she knows nothing about.
Marius, before he can even think of lowering his sabre arm, is flung from the Highroad and thrown deep beneath Taris' transit hub. Darth Somnus, flailing like mad and unable to correct his fall, is slammed repeatedly into the surrounding duracrete pillars. Shaleena lifts herself of the ground, dazed but alive, and strolls over to the battered an broken Somnus.
He is dying, impaled by his own lightsaber.
"I've done what needed to be done. I won't kill you. If the Force is within me, I'm going to respect it, not use it to deal to scum like you", she says.
"F-fine... C-coward. You h-had better r-run, because i-if I survive this, you're d-dead", replies Somnus.
Darth Somnus never did get his chance for revenge - he died there midst that broken graveyard of road and rail.
Arriving at an abandoned core-ward train depot, Shaleena makes her final push to access the planet's core, or as Rukil once called it, "True Taris". Aboard a train that was, capriciously, still functional, Shaleena descended down the median rail-line, deep below the wastelands of ruined Taris. This region, known as D-Level (Deep Level), is the last evidence of the foundations of the Old Capital, before the Tarisian government started a new project to house that populous.
She was alone, but Shaleena felt the Force comfort her as it reacted to the sight of the planet's true surfaced, no longer concealed by buildings or streets, but visible and demythologised. And there she sat, waiting for others to chance upon this hidden oasis - perhaps she would even find passage off-world, in search of the Liberator, or these "Jedi" Somnus had spoken of.
Whatever she would choose, Shaleena wished only to be seated in quiet contemplation of the Promised Land, false hope made true promise.
The End.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
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ReplyDeleteAnd I thought my one was long! haha!
ReplyDeleteWill post proper comments soon :)
I really liked the idea of the fan fic having chapters. I thought it was written really well and had heaps of really great descriptions in it. I was rather long but I do think that its length did help to familiarise the topic and what was happening to people who are not familiar with it (like me).
ReplyDeleteWow.
ReplyDeleteA very descriptive piece of fanfiction there Nathan. I commend your efforts with regards to your writing style and structure.
As the reader, I like how you've implemented a chapter format; it enables us to become more familiarised with the characters and the overall plot.
I too, do think it is long in length. In saying that, you are definitely on the right track!
The author has an obvious flare and interest in the genre. The writer has made an added effort in providing links of relevant interest. The avid descriptions of the planets are almost reminiscent of the movie itself. Describing new worlds; depicting an almost unimaginable comparison to our reality. The piece has kept to the tradition of the genre invoking the imagination and the possibility which is where the attraction to sci-fi is. The summary at the end completed the piece and provided a sense of closure. The plot was well followed through with clarity and little waffle. Focusing on the adventure I felt provided a great spectacle and a good read. Found it due to the length of the piece a little long and hard to critique.
ReplyDeleteNicely formatted. Well constructed - But could be somewhat long for the brief - can you think of ways of trimming it a bit?
ReplyDeleteWow. I really wasn't expecting positive feedback for this. *Gushes*. Much love. Though I think you're all being a little generous. Firstly, yes, it is far too long (thankfully, it's a draft). Yes, there is natural ability. But, I think it feels slightly clunky, maybe even robotic. The characters need to loosen up, the dialogue needs refinement, and the story needs a kick in the ass. Pardon the language, if you please. By nature, I'm a long-winded, long-in-the-tooth-style writer; sometimes it's better to shut-up and get to the point. I tried for description as I'm normally "God's POV", which feels too detached, but feel my first go at it was kind of shaky. Hell, even my freaking comment's too damn long! Still, as long as you guys enjoyed it, I guess I can ease up on the self-deprecation a tad, right? Cheers everyone!
ReplyDeleteOh, and about those links... Yeah, Frank may not agree, but I felt that people would need a heads-up on Star Wars-relevant facts and figures, rather than reams of fanfic. I actually liked my link descriptions more than the genuine articles. Wait, does that sound arrogant?
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